The women were heading in the opposite direction to where I was heading on that sunny day. They were carrying a live chicken and a parcel of maize flowers; being a villager myself, I knew there was a celebration somewhere.
As inquisitive as I have always been I asked the women what the occasion was, for I had not heard anything from the village crier. “Nachisale has just given birth. She is now a proud mother of a beautiful baby girl”, They all chorused in reply.
Once again it is that season where women will be trekking to the lake in the guise of celebrating their mothers without actually visiting their mothers. Like any normal child, we cause pain and suffering to our parents, the mother especially who is closer to the children.
Brenda Fassie one of the music icons from South Africa realized that no matter what, your mother shall always remain your pillar composed and sang the below, just to send remorse
“Mama, I’m sorry
I didn’t mean to hurt you
I won’t be the same again
Mama, I’ve learnt a lesson
All these years
I’ve been bad to you
I never thought I’d see you again
Mama, I’ve learnt a lesson
Mama, you won’t weep again.”
The whole being of a man is spent in the bosom of a woman. A woman can make or break a man, a nation.
Every day is a Mother’s Day for me taking into consideration all the things mothers do to raise their children. While the father is out there searching for food the mother is always there making sure the child is protected, fed, bathed and clothed.
However, Malawi celebrates its mothers in October of every year. Children visit mothers by sharing or giving back to whatever was given back to them in the form of gifts, visits, fending, and especially cooking for them. There is always a mother’s cloth that is produced every year and it becomes a pride of every mother to receive that wrapper or chitenje.
Even if the child is of age the mother will continue offering her love through advice and guidance.
Further to that, it is a proven fact that no matter how food is cooked, there is nothing as compared to one mother-prepared food. Everybody will always appreciate and long for mothers’ homemade food.
I have heard people saying “I’ll always love my mama She’s my favourite girl I’ll always love my mama She brought me into this world and Sometimes I feel so bad When I think of all the things I used to do how mama used to clean somebody else’s house Just to buy me a new pair of shoes I never understood how mama Made it through the week When she never got a good night’s sleep.”
Mothers have made plenty of sacrifices which no other can do. The mother-child relationship can be one of the most complicated and rewarding of all relationships.
As any parent will tell you, the practice of raising a child can be extremely difficult, and mothers deserve our thanks and praise.
And while it certainly isn’t enough to appreciate her just one day out of the year, Mother’s Day is a good start.
In honour of mothers everywhere, it is vitally important to appreciate all of the enormous sacrifices they have had to make for the sake of their children. “Thank you” on Mother’s Day.
While you were young Mama, you carried us on your back; we would wail, urinate and embarrass you in front of your friends. We would cry, but you never relent in loving us more.
You tucked us in bed without expecting anything in return. The late nights you spent in nursing, we deserve a special thank you. Knowing that you were always there kept us feeling safe and secure. The efforts you made to make sure we were always warm during the cold season, thanks to you, mama, my love.
In whatever you did you always made sure we were first. I remember when I got bullied by friends, you rushed to the scene and pulled me out of it but immediately went to the bully’s mother, where you showed her what stuff you were made of; I have never felt proud to be the first in your list to do things. You had friends, obligations and errands to run but taking care of us came first.
I have personally said with no offence that Mama’s food has always been the best, perhaps it’s because it is the first food we ate from her kitchen. No matter the situation, my love, my Mama always made sure we were all well-fed. Thank you, my love.
You sacrificed your quiet time, which you could have used doing other things; as children, we were unpredictable, yelling in anger one minute and laughing gleefully the next.
You never became irritated or cross because you understood us more than we did ourselves as children. But whatever our moods, we can be certain that we were often loud.
Our mothers understood that quiet time was rare and precious.
But they were willing to give up on this quiet time to make sure we knew we were loved.
We might not shout or scream anymore as adults, but for Mother’s Day, we can shout “Thank you for letting me be so loud!”
I remember being an asthmatic child how my mother would sit on the edge of my bed when I had an attack, she would stay awake all night looking up to me as I failed to breathe and kept bouncing on the bed, because of this kind of love and care I resolved to fight and never give up.
I would, through gasps and difficulty breathing, tell my mother to go and sleep and that I would be fine; she would have none of it. Sometimes, we had nightmares; other times, we simply missed being close to our mothers.
Nothing comforted us so much as our moms letting us crawl in bed with them. Even when it meant giving up on “adult time,” our moms gave us a safe and secure place to close our eyes and drift to sleep.
Mother’s Day is a great time to give our mothers a large hug to show our appreciation for letting us cuddle up next to them. In sickness and health, my love my mom has always been there for me.
As a child, being sick is part of growing up, and my mother would make sure I was cared for, taken to the hospital, and forced (for a good cause, as kids don’t like) to take my medication.
It is a known fact that these incredible women in our lives didn’t get to take a day off from motherhood, even when they weren’t feeling 100 per cent tired or sick. The same applies to my love, my mama.
A household with children is, by necessity, a household with germs. Despite everyone’s best efforts to keep the family healthy, colds and illnesses inevitably went around.
But our sick moms still fought through the sneezing and the sore throats to be there for us, which certainly deserves a huge “Thanks!”
My mama loved seeing a big smile on our faces, and during those times, she would give us her angelic smile.
Memorable times with Mama were giving us a birthday cake so we could make a wish as we blew out the candles; our mothers thrived on bringing us joy, which we greatly appreciate. Instead of trying to repay our moms financially for all the gifts or small gestures (which is likely impossible), we can repay them in spades with our undying love and appreciation this Mother’s Day.
Even if it wasn’t their favourite TV show, our moms were willing to curl up on the couch with us and watch an over-the-top cartoon — sometimes for the 103rd time.
At the same time, our mothers shared their interests with us, playing their music and reading us some of their favourite books. At the end of the day, it was all about spending time together. This time is something we would never trade for anything in the world; maybe on Mother’s Day, we can even let our moms pick the TV show for a change.
My love you have always encouraged us your children to be ourselves thank you for your guidance in this process for without your guidance we would not be where we are today, my mama there were times we wanted to give up but you always encouraged us to stand up and be counted, we do not take this for granted, a big salute for having confidence in us that we could do something meaningful despite all the odds.
We know that as children, we were often relentless balls of energy and vigour. Our mothers had to keep pace with us the whole way.
Mama, you let us be on our high-energy, creative selves, even if it costs your sanity now and again. My love cultivated our interests and encouraged us to explore them.
Perhaps more than any other sacrifice, it is letting us be ourselves that deserves an enormous thanks. So, on Mother’s Day, all we have to say is my Mama, my love, a woman of substance who believed, stay blessed.
My favourite famous quote from Mother is, “You are the force that binds the very piece of my life together. Life is beautiful because I have a mother like you who is always there for me. I love to the moon and back”
Despite all the challenges that a woman faces she is always the first and last to smile.
MY unsung hero, my love, my mother Abiti Kamwendo Chrissie Elias Kamwendo …thank you!
*The writer is a Fellow of IPMM and writes in his capacity on various aspects of life.
By Stevie Kauka
