An open letter to Mr. Donald Trump from Malawi

To be honest Mr President-elect, I may not be an ardent fan of your narcissist rhetoric but truth be told, your rare courage to speak the unspoken openly buys my credit for you. Such honesty cant go unwarranted.

I am reliably informed that you’re not backing down on your declaration to deport undocumented ‘illegal’ immigrants who, to you, are a hub of all sorts of violence and mess. Well, much as people see this war on ‘rapists’, ‘drug dealers’ to borrow your vocabulary, as unAmerican, I would however do the same for my country if I were a mogul of your stature and president of my country. Those people are indeed ungrateful, how could they repay the country which gave them home and everything including the much touted “American Dream” by flooding it with all sorts of menace!

But Mr President-elect, when deporting these “personae non gratae”, I wish you could do my continent Africa a favour. Being someone who is allergic to foreigners, I believe you’re aware of the presence of what I call ‘traitors’ in your country. These are Africans who have betrayed their motherland, Africa. She has single-handedly bore,raised and nurtured them to stardom, only to be abandoned at the time she needs to enjoy the fruits of her sweat and parenthood. Here, when one gives birth, the child becomes the walking stick when you grow old. African is old, Africa is sick and in dire need of her children’s care but they’ve all left and sought sanctuary there.

Mr President, if you load them full into a ship or that seatless plane, we’ll have our last laugh here. In fact, we’ll welcome those doctors and nurses,with beds of dying patients. Trust me Mr Trump, we’ll flock to the ports to welcome those economists, carrying with us all miseries resulting from sick economy. Ask every student here, they’ll tell you that all is set to throng the airports en masse and welcome those academicians who are there selling their motherland dirty past, for citizenship and places in institutions of higher learning. Don’t also forget to repatriate those politicians who have ruthlessly without an ounce of remorse, plundered our resources and create a heaven for themselves and families, we’ll walk long distances on empty stomachs to airports just for them!

Lastly Mr President, I would like to appeal to you that if you don’t want to help us, just be. But pinning us down through those conditions your predecessors have been attaching to the aids will no longer be tolerated. Much as you don’t want foreigners to meddle into your country’s business, we too want to be left alone. We too want to be Great Again just like we were before your forefathers came to divide us!