Lilia’s Weekly Dose: Uncertain Me

Kon is unpredictable, I can’t read him no matter how hard I try. I have known this guy for years, five years and we have been flirting since my senior year in high school till this moment I’m in my final year in college. He is slick, dear Lord he sells me dreams.

He has been talking about marriage for a year now, and today he dropped a bomb on me.

“My birthday is on Saturday by the way,” Kon said.
“Oh wow, getting older by the day huh.” I was smiling like a love struck middle school girl.
” Yeah hun, getting closer to marrying you.” He warmly said.

I swallowed hard and forced a smile. Questions flooding my mind, is Kon ever serious? What does he want me to say?

We have never dated, not officially. Twice he seduced me and good Lord, I have woken up in his bed both times satisfied with his masculinity but feeling guilty as hell. Because he has never asked me out or took me out on a proper date, or introduce me to anyone of his friends. He is obviously messing with me.

“You want your dress custom made?” He asked, smiling.
“Yes, my own design. I’d love to wear my own dress on my big day. I hope it comes soon.” I was day dreaming at this moment.
“I actually know a company that does that, they made one for my brother’s wife.” Kon said, calmly.

And I was wondering for a minute, is he really talking about our wedding or as usual selling me dreams?

“We’ll send them your measurements and design in good time. Your dress will be amazing, no words.” He laughed and kissed me.

Tonight, I lay in bed texting a bunch of friends and he called.

“I miss you, I waited for you to call me yesterday.” He spoke softly on the other end of the phone.

“Yes, I am sorry I got too busy helping mother with something.” I apologized while texting on my other phone.

“I will come to see you tomorrow afternoon. Soon after I finish what I need to do in the morning, I’m coming for you. I miss you Amy.” He said.

His voice struck my heart each time he said those words. This man, medium height, chocolate skin, brown eyes, big brown lips drove me crazy. His black hair so thick and soft that each time I ran my fingers through it I felt my defences falling.

“I miss you more Kon, I will be expecting you.” And I was lost in him again.

I promised myself I won’t fall for this man. I will not expect too much, him and I are somewhat in a beneficial friendship. But it seemed to get harder by the day with him acting like that. Teasing me, giving me some sort of hope that maybe we can ever be.

“Good night.” He said and hung up.

I put the phone down and forgot he called that instant. He called again, the very same minute.

“I forgot to say I LOVE YOU.”

I froze for a moment. He had never said that to me, what was I to say? I love you too? Come on Kon quit playing, we both know this is just a game to you. I had all sorts of thoughts at once, not sure I wanted to act like I don’t care or just say something. Maybe he meant it.

“Wow, er… That’s a first. Um, wow. I,…. I love you too.” I pinched myself. How the hell did that come out of my mouth knowing how playful Kon was? Lord help me I needed a saviour, something to keep me away from this attractive young man who only knew nothing but mind games.

“Good, will call you in the morning.”

And he hung up. I paused, did he just? What was Kon playing at?

I could hear his voice in my head, resounding, over and over again as he said “I love you” on the phone. Was I falling in love? No, I didn’t have to dare try that since there was nothing substantial to qualify us a couple. If he loved me, I’d have to see if he meant it. It was the beginning of a dilemma.

(To be continued next week)