Lilia’s Weekly Dose: Uncertain Me (Part 2)

I want him. I want him to kiss me, I want to feel his warmth against my body

(…continued from last week)

I’m wondering, what do I know about Kon? He never opens up to me about his business, just the fact that he does some farming as well. But the meetings, the business that keeps him in the city all day and only comes to see me for a few minutes, what kind of business is it?

I want him. I want him to kiss me, I want to feel his warmth against my body
“I want to kiss him and freeze this moment”

We have been talking everyday since his confession, he is not reckless with words this I know. He says what he wants but not what he don’t mean. So far, he has been taking me out on dates, visiting frequently and he has managed to keep me in his loop. I’m in love but in denial.

“I don’t like peas, don’t make peas for me.” He said, firmly.

He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms, wrapped those strong arms around me. I’m defenseless, and he holds my gaze for a moment. He could tell I’m skeptical.

“When will you stop wondering what I want from you?” He asked, pressed his soft lips on mine and kissed me.

There is no cell in me that wants to stop him, I want him. I want him to kiss me, I want to feel his warmth against my body, I want to kiss him back and freeze this moment. But his question brought me back to reality.

I pulled away and looked at him,looked straight into his brown eyes. The fire in his eyes so breathtaking I was not thinking straight at all.

“Well, I don’t know. You never give me a reason to trust you, let alone believe we have something of substance between us.” I calmly said. Could he tell I couldn’t breathe?

He came closer, took my right hand and kissed my palm.

“Amy, I’ll say this once,” he paused, smiled at me.

Lord that smile, the shivers down my spine when he curved his lips. I needed to find a way out soon, to strengthen my defenses against his charms. No other man made me feel half the things I felt when I just heard Kon say my name.

“Let’s take it slow, your pace, I will follow your lead. From now on, you define what we are. Just know, I’m all yours.” He had emphasis in his voice.

All mine? Like mine mine? He wasn’t mine all these years? But I was his all along, it took him five years to say he loved me, now when I am close to giving up, he is suddenly mine?

I had too many doubts, I was going to tell him I’m done playing his game. He said he loved me once, but I know nothing about him. What he does on his free time, who he hangs out with, what he eats, drinks, I literally know nothing. But I wanted this man, so bad, no other man could do.

I think of him before I sleep, think of him first when I wake up. Even when I wake up next to somebody else, I think of Kon. Why him?

My skin was on fire, literally. My heart was racing, my palms were wet, I could feel sweat dripping under my arms.

“Mine as in?” I asked.

“We should go public. I’m ready, no more holding back. I want to show you to the world.” Those words choked me.

Go public? Now? Why now? I needed time, if I give excuses I might lose him. I had waited for this moment for five years. Now that it’s here I didn’t know what to do.

Dear Lord, how do I go public with the man I’ve loved for years when the whole world knows I’m dating somebody else?

Yes, foolish me, in love with someone else while dating dating another.

(To be continued next week)

*Check Out Lilia’s Weekly Dose series here



  1. guyz is it true that in malawi there was a man whom was having sex with more than 100young girls without using condoms?. ZAMBIA.

  2. How can I explain this testimony to the public about a great man who help me out in serious illness I have HIV AID for good 3year and I was almost going to the end of my life due to the way my skin look like all I have in my mind is let me just give up because life is not interesting to me any longer but I just pray for God every day to accept my soul when ever I’m gone lucky to me my kids brother run to me that he found a doctor in the internet who can cure HIV online he help me out on everything, the doctor ask for my deities, so he can prepare the herbal medicine for me from his temple after all he ask is done one week later I started getting more stronger my blood start flow normally for 4 to 5 days I start getting Wight before a month my body start developing my skin start coming up after 2month I went for HIV test and I was tested negative I’m so happy that I can say I’m not a HIV patient if you have HIV/AID or any sickness he can still help you in getting your ex-back to you please contact him via whatsapp +2348162447651

Comments are closed.