I just want to die, says Gogo


Human life is one of the best gifts that the creating spirit ever gave planet earth. That is the reason most of us fight hard, or do anything within our means to live long and stay healthy.

However, there are times when burdens weigh down heavily on a person, and the only option is wishing death to beckon in order to escape from such hardships.

In Kasale 1 Village Traditional Authority Kwataine in Ntcheu District, resides an elderly but energetic woman I will call Malita Chisale in this post, who unexpectedly confessed on camera that she wishes death whisked her away to the land of the dead due to the life struggles she has endured over the years.

She told me and my man on camera Bennie Khanyizira following our visit that in the days of her youth, she was happily married and gave birth to five children before fate stroked, and saw her witness death call her children one after the other to the grave-leaving her a lone plus helpless widow.

Chisale a subsistence maize and groundnuts farmer, who cannot trace her year of birth, further added that the struggle is too real because everything falls on her shoulders. There is no one to talk to, send on errands or help her with household chores a thing which make her feel exhausted with life and continuously wish death to come calling.

Despite her struggle with the thoughts of death, she indicates that she knows that the wish is wrong to man and God because a lot of people wish to be alive, hence seeks for God’s forgiveness for the ill thought.

Surely, one day Chisale’s wish to permanently go to rest amongst her children and husband will be fulfilled. People will gather to pay their last respects but few will know that she died a sombre person because life had stretched her beyond limits, to the extent that death which robbed her of joy and led her into depression is what she longed to meet with gladness for a long time.

Depression and mental issues are real. People are no longer themselves. Their mind is far from earth while their body is here. This is the right time for communities to rise and provide social-psychological support to people struggling with mental issues instead of judging or thinking this is disease is for the whites.

This morning, my prayers are with Chisale for I know her situation. She has warmly expected death over the years, yet has not at any point attempted to commit suicide at this time when suicide cases keep rising in the country. More hugs and love to this strong woman.

NB: The name has been changed and picture angled to avoid depicting her face due to ethical considerations.



  1. What ethics? Choipa nchani kuti nkhope yawo ndidzina tizidziwe? She is just like millions in our country waiting for a God sent leader to set her free from the jaws of poverty

  2. I am saddened with this true story that I read and I am sure there is a lot of misery in the villages..

    It would be good for some of us to have the contact of this lady.perhaps some can give her a helping hand.

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