Katsonga’s suspension, good riddance: that wasn’t even Malawian wear

Of all the news that came from Parliament this week, the most pleasing was that the Deputy Speaker had finally moved that Davies Katsonga ex-Chipani Cha Pfuko President be suspended from the house. I would have loved if that suspension were for the rest of this sitting. With that suspension, as well, he should have been getting zero penny in terms of allowance.

However, since our system is twisted, Katsonga will still smile all the way to the bank at the end of the day while the people who voted him into office lack representation at that crucial stage all because their parliamentarian opted to be petty just for fame. Shame!

I have listened to Katsonga supporters, the kind of people who are deluded to think that everything western is wrong, and my conclusion has been that: they are just lost people with anger management issues who are just unhappy with their lives. In return, they vent all their frustrations on westernisation although they exist comfortably because of western inventions.

These people now have found Katsonga as the perfect prophet because, like them, he equally has anger management issues and definitely unhappy with his life. One can easily sympathise with him, it is not easy to have served as a Speaker, a Minister, a President’s beloved boy, an actual President (even if it is of a briefcase party) and just to end as a backbencher in Parliament.

These people, used to the limelight, once they are starved of that limelight they pull dramatic yet useless stunts just to have the light cast on them. In brief, they are like Katsonga and that self-kidnapper Kamlepo.

When you look at the excuse by Katsonga that he is an Impi and therefore should dress as an Impi in Parliament, you get to understand why Katsonga is just a sad man spoiling for useless fights. Anyone who knows that society runs well on order and not chaos understands that Katsonga is just attempting to be vain.

By the way, when did Katsonga become an Impi?

Anyway even if he has become an Impi just last weekend, why should that bother the whole nation?

Before I am accused of jealousy or infringing on Katsonga’s rights to express himself whatsoever, I need to highlight here that all the rights have limitations and where your rights end, the other person’s rights start. It is on that understanding that we have laws and guidelines so that each one of us enjoys our rights peacefully. It is this understanding which Katsonga and his supporters are missing. But that is not even the point.

The point is that if Parliament were to allow each of the members exercise their tribal affiliations through dress, we would end up with a house in anarchy.

It is for a reason that there are orders on how members should dress. Yes, those regulations might be an aftershave cream if we are to consider colonialism as the actual shave but they have still helped to maintain sanity in this land where tribes vary and the dressing is as different as it might end up shocking.

Imagine a parliament in which Patricia Kaliati comes bare-breasted simply because Lhomwe ladies do that, or maybe a Parliament in which, on the opening day, Vice President Chilima walks in with no shirt and trousers but just an animal cloth covering the loins and some headgear simply because he is an Impi as well. What a chaotic scene that would be?

It is for the avoidance of such chaos that Parliament prescribes a code. It is not just Parliament that has a code.

When Katsonga is busy performing his Impi duties, there is also a code which he is expected to dress by. How come Katsonga does not violate that code, dress like a former President of a failed party or a member of Parliament unsure of his returning to Parliament next time when he goes to attend Ngoni events? Why are the Ngoni events important than national business?

Personally, I respect Katsonga and would protect to death his right to tribal affiliation but when he wants to disturb the order of things and make his tribe supreme over national business then I am under no obligation to celebrate his cheap attempts at popularity.

Katsonga once served as a Speaker and it is really a shame that for a gentleman of his calibre, he would stoop so low to bring Parliament into disrepute with a simple headgear he could remove, conduct Parliamentary business and then put it back on after that business?

I know some people will come to say I am glorifying westernisation. But it is not as if Katsonga himself is a complete challenge of westernisation. Here is a guy dressed in a whole western suit, conducting business in English, most likely enjoys his phone, car and television which are all not African inventions yet he wants to abuse Parliament under the guise of tradition; as if the Church where he worships a white Jesus is his tradition?

No, Katsonga is not an African traditional man as he wants us to have. He is just a man unhappy with his life who is finding his popularity waning and now he wants to court controversy so we remember him. Just like Kamlepo. Spent forces in our politics.